How to Wear Lingerie for Your Partner for Valentine’s Day (or Any Other Special Occasion)

Funnily enough, I think that one big barrier to people wearing and enjoying lingerie is just a lack of knowledge on how to wear it– especially for a special occasion like Valentine’s Day. It’s not something that we talk about so much and if you’re not already immersed in the world of stockings and garter belts and corsets, it can seem daunting to put everything together and pull it off, even when you think you’d look awesome. At least, that’s how it felt to me when I first started wanting to wear lingerie (because it just looked so fun!). Now I view Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to go all out and dress up in whatever I never have the excuse to wear otherwise. Fringe bodysuit? Here I come. I hope some of these ideas and guidelines will help you out and definitely feel free to ask any questions in the comments!

If you’re thinking about wearing lingerie for Valentine’s Day, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, do I want to wear lingerie? If you’re reading this article, it might seem like a stupid question for me to ask—why would you click on this article if you hadn’t already decided to wear lingerie?

But, I still think it’s a relevant question. I really hate it when an article about lingerie focuses only on how your partner would feel looking at you in said bra or panties. Firstly, not everyone actually finds lingerie attractive, so don’t just assume that if you’re doing it for them, your partner will respond as well as you’d hope. Secondly if you’re lingerie only for your partner’s approval or because they are really pushing for it, how much will you really be getting out of it? So ask yourself: How does lingerie make me feel? Will it make it me feel beautiful and powerful or will I just feel uncomfortable?

Mimi Holliday

If you’ve decided you would definitely love to wear lingerie for Valentine’s Day, you need to decide what lingerie you want to wear (one of my favorite part of the whole process, if we’re being honest). Here are some options of what you could do in degrees of complication:

  1. Wear a version of your favorite bra and panty set, but in a more exciting color than you usually indulge in (Red! Pink! Fluorescent orange!)
  2. Get some sort of lovely nightwear like a silk slip or lace bodysuit or babydoll
  3. Go all out in a matching bra, knickers, suspender belt & stockings
  4. Try a whole outfit with a corset, basque or garter dress– this is great for transforming your look completely.
  5. Other—if you’ve worn some great lingerie outfits in the past, leave it in the comments!

Once you’ve decide what to wear, you need to think about how to wear it. I’m a big fan of wearing special underwear under your ordinary clothes– I think it adds a level of fun in the surprise of the whole “unwrapping” experience.

  • If you’re wearing a more exciting version of your favorite kind of bra and panties, this can be pretty simple, you just have to make sure the colors coordinate. When I first started to get into lingerie, this was my favorite easy way to make it part of my outfit– the exciting colors are always a fun surprise.

 

  • When it comes to slips or bodysuits, they are often better suited to home based adventures– if you’re hosting Valentine’s Day at home these are perfect, but they are also easy to slip into if you’re planning to go out and change into something sexy later. Unlike a garter belt and stockings, which I usually suggest you do at the beginning of the evening, putting on a slip or bodysuit is usually very easy and comfortable. Being remiss in my lingerie duties, I have yet to get the perfect silky slip, but I love the way they look and the effortlessly sexy look they give.

 

  • If you’re planning to wear a complete matching set including a garter belt or a basque or garter dress, I always like to triple check the whole stocking situation– do they fit, do they have holes, etc. There is nothing worse than trying to have a romantic night out and constantly fooling around adjusting your stockings. Do not, under any circumstances, wear knickers with suspender clips (unless it’s a high-waisted panty-girdle) because if you walk anywhere you’ll spend the entire time clutching your panties to make sure they stay up. It’s not fun– I speak from unfortunate experience. And yes, it was Valentine’s Day.

 

  • If you’re wearing a corset (a proper one with steel boning) I might recommend wearing it around on another occasion instead of wearing it for the first time on Valentine’s Day. If you wear corsets all the time, this isn’t an issue, but if you’re new to the whole corset thing, you’ll want to get used to it and break it in a little before wearing it for a special occasion.

Each of these caters to a different need and are each sexy in their own way.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that wearing something special has to be a big production—if you prefer simple, there’s no reason to deviate because it’s lingerie or it’s an evening imbued with pressure or expectations (unless of course you want to!) If Valentine’s Day is your chance to go all out and try a garter belt for the first time I think that’s excellent. Check out my lingerie wishlist for more ideas on what could be lovely to wear for this Valentine’s Day. Despite what some people seem to think, whatever we mean by “sexiness” is not just suddenly gained when you put on lingerie. But when lingerie and its wearer are in sync, and you choose lingerie that feels right for you, it can be absolutely wonderful and it would be a shame not to share that with your boyfriend or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. In the immortal words of Miss Frizzle: Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!

Special note for single people on Valentine’s Day: speaking from experience, this may be the best night of the year for loungewear. Prepare that luxurious robe and slippers for an epic night treating yourself just as perfectly as you should be treated. Or order in Chinese food and laugh at all those people trying to have a romantic dinner in an overcrowded restaurant.

Any other tips I should have included for prospective lingerie wearers? If any of your have Valentine’s Day lingerie plans, I wish you the best of luck :)

10 Comments
  1. I often think about this, too. When I was younger (cause gosh, I am oh so old now *rolls eyes*), I always wanted to wear lingerie. And I felt good wearing it.

    But as I’ve gotten older, I find that I’m really uncomfortable wearing lingerie, and I feel pretty ridiculous. Also, that’s harder to do because of my size! And I still don’t have a matching bra and panty set!

    My husband loves seeing me in lingerie and I feel like I let him down when I don’t wear any, but I just don’t feel comfortable, and can be sexy in….well….nothing. So, I suppose that works for me!

    I LOVED this post, by the way :-)

    • Thanks so much! I feel like dressing up in lingerie and feeling comfortable can be tough sometimes, so it’s good to start small and not easily finding lingerie to fit can double the difficulties. I like to think that a slip is a simple and grown up way to do sexy, if a garter belt and stockings feels silly to you. I definitely don’t think you should feel guilty for not wearing lingerie, though, being sexy in nothing is pretty fabulous too :).

  2. Pingback: How to Wear Lingerie for Your Partner for Valentine’s Day (or Any Other Special Occasion) « Kiss + Makeup

  3. This will be my 1st Valentines day single in almost a decade. I have decided I’m going to buy myself a new piece of lingerie to mark the day. I’m leaning towards slip or silky lounge wear. With a bottle of champagne.
    The only thing I would’ve included in this article was specifically saying “Test run all lingerie before showtime”. I think it’s important in the “owning the beauty and power” aspect. You don’t want to be hopping on 1 foot in the bathroom trying to shimmy into a body suit……. And I think it’s easier to feel amazing when you’ve looked it over in the mirror with plenty of time to spare. Just my opinion.

    • Great point! I included a test run in the corset tips, but doing one for any lingerie you plan on wearing comfortably is an excellent idea. I think checking yourself out before hand and thinking about how awesome you look makes the whole experience so much better.

  4. Wow, I’m truly in awe as how you managed to cover the different aspects of wearing lingerie, especially the emotional and practical ones.
    I can certainly relate to trying items beforehand and the “do not, under any circumstances, wear knickers with suspender clips”. And as far as I’m concerned the key lesson here is, “when lingerie and its wearer are in sync, and you choose lingerie that feels right for you, it can be absolutely wonderful”.

    Thanks for yet another great post as well as the very tasteful choice of pictures, and happy Valentine’s to you and your girlfriend!

  5. I love lingerie and have one of those unfortunate husbands that doesn’t. It’s not like he hates lingerie – it is just that he is for the most part completely neutral towards it. In the end whatever I wear I have to wear for me. But sometimes it really feels like a let – down… Like nothing I wear excites that ‘over – the – top’ reaction. Sigh.
    On another note – if you get a steel- boned corset be sure to wear it at least twice before wearing it for any prolonged amount of time. Also try retightening the laces after the first 1/2 hr of wear. I am an ‘occasion’ corset wearer and it is very important to break the corset in a bit before putting it through a few hours work.
    Oh.. And another do not – do not wear garter dresses without stockings. You will find it up around your waist. *experience talking*

  6. Helpful! I especially like the part about cute lounge wear- it’s important to feel beautiful even when you’re lying around eating takeout, if that’s how you roll.

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