A Relationship in Lingerie: 6 Stages

I was talking to someone just the other day about how interest in lingerie evolves, such as what kind of lingerie you are interested in. Over time, people seem to have different levels of interest in loungewear, bullet bras, garters or whatever your lingerie focus of the moment might be. There are so many reasons that it happens– age, experience, random chance– but there was one other reason that I thought would be fun to write about on this blog: relationships. Now, relationships follow no rules, so don’t feel like I’m saying that these are universal stages, but I thought of 6 different points in a relationship that might have different lingerie needs.

A Relationship in Lingerie:

1. Crush

Marlies Dekkers Triangle Push-Up Bra $99.00

For lingerie that encapsulates the feeling of a crush, I think you have to wear something not too fussy but a little bit flirty, a set that exhibits the undeniable excitement of being interested in someone new– and looks good with outerwear too, like this gorgeous Marlies Dekkers bra.

2. First Date

Mimi Holliday ‘Elferine’ Underwire Comfort Bra, $90

A first date is a chance to dress up, to put on something extra special and try and feel like that very best version of yourself. Whether your date is likely to see your lingerie or not, you want to be ready in case it’s a perfect night. I love this Mimi Holliday set because it is so cheery it shows how you’re shining from the inside.

3. Hot and Heavy

Velvet Odile Peep Bra, Suspenders, Thong and Bow Leather Nipplets

So now you’ve been dating for a while and you’re ready to spice things up and get adventurous. Of course, you may have felt adventurous from the beginning, but getting more involved is a perfect opportunity for lingerie experimentation. This Bordelle set (garter belt + peep bra + nipple pasties + thong) is definitely an exciting way to branch out.

4. Getting Comfy

Mary Green Midnight in Satin Kimono $165

Maybe you live together or maybe your partner just spends the night, but by this time you’re comfortable enough to spend lazy sundays together in your underwear. Or wearing this Mary Green robe.

5. Break Up

Wildfox Oh Romeo Rose Garden Sweater $172

Your life is too complicated to include complex lingerie. You need something to wear when it feels like your life is falling apart and you’ll never love again. The answer is cute, comfy loungewear– and what could be better for the lovesick than this Wildfox ‘Romeo Romeo’ lounge shirt.

6. Begin Again

Fraulein Annie Bye Bye Mein Herr Plunge Bra, £52

You’re picking up the pieces and remembering what’s it’s like to feel whole and beautiful again. Not quite so flirty as the “crush” phase, but similarly focused on yourself, the lingerie associated with beginning again is all about being simple and new. I love this Fraulein Annie set because it’s pretty, practical and pulled-together: just the right set to say that you’ve picked yourself up and you think you’re pretty cute.

What did you think of this “relationship in lingerie”? Did I miss anything crucial? Do these “stages” sound familiar to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

  1. Call me old-fashioned, but I think a nice set of silky night gown and a matching robe can be a great fit for the “first time together” as well as some of the stages described here, at least the last three.
    Thanks once again for yet another interesting take on lingerie.

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