What’s special about Rococo Dessous is that they use a patented process to apply the gold to thread that is then embroidered or woven into fabric of their pieces. This means that even though the lingerie is made with gold, it acts like regular fabric.

These photos are from the Rococo Dessous presentation where I could see the pieces in person. The designs were surprisingly understated for a line focused on using such an over-the-top and expensive material. The line includes bra and panty sets as well as loungewear, with a cream and gold line for bridal and a black and gold for all other occasions.

Although the basic pieces only include the gold lace, they can also be customized to include precious stones and other accessories if you think that your knickers lack that little bit of oomph that comes with having jewels dripping off of them. This is not a problem I personally have had, but Rococo Dessous definitely caters to the customer who wouldn’t be satisfied with what us mere mortals have to make do with.

Because they are so new, they have no stockists and I can’t give you an exact price for any of these items– but I can say that they are sure to be immensely expensive! I am looking forward to seeing whether gold lingerie takes off and if there is a real demand for Rococo Dessous. In the meantime we can also enjoy some pretty pictures .

Would you ever want to try gold lingerie?

This neon bra by Love Claudette is one that I’ve been lusting after since I first saw its neon gorgeousness in photos last year. I purchased this set after seeing it for sale on Zulily and I’m really excited to share this review with you because there are several sizing details and construction observations that I think will be helpful to others thinking of purchasing this set.

One of the most noteworthy things about Love Claudette, as well as their simple yet striking designs, is the wide range of sizes that they cover. At present, their size range covers cup sizes A-G (UK) and band sizes 30-38 and I know they are planning to expand even more. From research online and asking other bloggers, I found out that this bra runs a size larger in the band and one size smaller in the cup, meaning that I ordered this bra in a 32D instead of my usual 34B. This was a much improved size change, as it fit quite well– I definitely couldn’t have gone any smaller in the cup.

One thing that differentiates this bra from the bras I usually wear is that it was created primarily for full busts and then scaled down from there for smaller sizes. Although this does have an effect on the shape, the most noticeable difference was the use of an extra thick wire that was much stiffer than my usual bra wires.

The result of this thicker wire is that I actually began to understand why full-bust bras should be worn more tightly than core sizes because of the way full-bust bras are constructed. In general, I prefer to wear my bands as loosely as they can be while still feeling secure/not riding up, as it is better for the elastic not to be stretched more than necessary and my boobs are not heavy enough to need the additional support a tighter band would give. Everyone has their own preferences for how they like a bra to fit, but the way I am built means that this is what feels most comfortable to me.

Although I found the Love Claudette bra snug and it didn’t move around, I felt that there was something about the way the bra was fitting that didn’t seem quite right and that it had something to do with the wire shape. Once I compared the bra to one of my other bras with thinner wires though, I realized that the shapes were almost identical, so that couldn’t be the issue. What I found to be the problem was the fact that at the size that I was wearing, the band was not tight enough to give the wire the proper spring outward because it required much more force than my normal, thinner wires. In fact, if I wore some of my 34B bras as tightly as I would prefer to wear this Love Claudette bra, I would probably distort the wires.

Although I do like this Love Claudette bra, I think it would be improved by having the band shortened, an alteration I will likely attempt myself. When it comes to the briefs, I tried a size L, but I would probably prefer a size M next time. One flaw that I find in the briefs is that they use the same strong elastic that is used in the bra band, which is beautiful and great for consistency, but a can be a little  too strong for interaction with my squishy bits. I personally prefer relatively gentle or thin elastic in my knickers– sizing up to an L did not help this issue.

Note: the bands for this season (SS13) and going forward should fit true to size, rather than running large like this bra from AW12. That means that if I were to repurchase this bra in the current season’s colorways, I would still try a 32D.

This bra is from last season, so it’s not necessarily available in all sizes– you can buy it on sale from Faire Frou Frou.

Unforeseen Circumstances

Recently I went to an event where I was representing my blog. When I was there, I met the husband of one of the hosts, who managed to make me angry, upset and uncomfortable in the very short time we spent together. This is guide to how to replicate his effective method to make me want to get out of his presence as soon as possible in three easy steps:

1. Act like the word ‘lesbian’ was the only thing that came out of my mouth

As is natural when introducing myself when I represent The Lingerie Lesbian, I said both my name and the name of this blog. What I did not expect was this response: “Oh, what a coincidence! I was just talking about lesbian things.” He explained that he had a sales rep who wanted to know if her being gay would be a problem on the job. I stood there, confused– was speaking to another lesbian in the same day really a coincidence? Was I supposed to take this example of how he almost never consciously interacted with lesbians as an amusing anecdote? All I felt was bewilderment that my sexuality was the only thing he got from our conversation.

2. Imply that you’re cool with lesbians because you think lesbian sex is hot

He went on to say, “Lesbians? Of course, I’m totally down with that,” with a half smile that suggested I was supposed to think what he was saying was funny. As a punchline of a joke, that only makes sense if you think that we have some common bond over the fact that we both think lesbians are hot. This is not something I ever want to bond with a straight guy about; my sexual identity and you getting off have nothing to do with each other and the implication that you get some pleasure from it is gross, inappropriate and bordering on harassment.

3. Remind me that I am literally on your turf

After reminding me that he thought of me as a sex object, this charming gentleman wrapped his arm around his wife, who had been party to this entire interaction, and grandly gestured around to show me what was going on. This gesture alone would feel welcoming– following our previous interaction, all I could think was how powerless I felt to say anything to him, or even to know what to say. For some reason, “Everything you have done since we first met has insulted me,” is hard to say when standing is a room where he is not just a welcome member but a host.

Why did I share this with you? Because I was upset and frustrated and wanted to give you a glimpse of how the actions of someone who I’m sure was well-meaning made me feel like a punchline more than a person. I know MANY of you know what I’m talking about, but if you don’t: this is how words hurt.

Ampere Gramercy Bra, $95

Ampere launched their collection last fall and since then I’ve been dying to give them a try. I haven’t yet gotten a set of my own, but I did get to meet up with the founder, Jiabei Chen, this week and got to see just how lovely this lingerie is in person.

Ampere Madison Romper, $145

In one of the more unusual life pivots, Jiabei decided to go from lawyer to lingerie designer, despite not having a design background– and I (for one) think that was a excellent idea. Her debut collection is small, but I think that it’s better because of it; all three of her sets (2 bra & thong sets and a romper) are lovely and although they aren’t exactly basic, I think they would be a great place to begin a collection of beautiful lingerie.

Ampere Chelsea Bra, $95

The leavers lace on the Gramercy bra is really, really gorgeous– I’m obsessed with the tiny gold threads. Another awesome perk that I can’t forget to mention? If you buy a bra, you automatically get the panties too, which makes me super happy as someone who loves matching and feels very sad if my panties double the price of the set. They also do free shipping & returns, and send 2 sister sizes in the package to make sure you get the right fit.

Ampere Madison Romper, $145

More essential info: Ampere’s size range runs from a 28B-F, 30-34 A-F, 36A-DD. Given that I haven’t tried it, I don’t know how the cups or bands run sizewise, but the construction is similar to Chinese style lingerie and it is manufactured in China, although the leaver’s lace is American made.

Are any of you trying Ampere? What do you think?

Maison Cadolle Paris

It is almost impossible to find a situation in which the display of female bodies or female sexuality doesn’t carry with it the weight of how you will be judged and discounted. There is a logic behind it that comes from the assumption both that women’s bodies are out of their control and that they use sexuality as a method of persuasion, a combination that makes unchecked female bodies somehow dangerous.

ID Sarrieri

The fact that the nude female body has a significant effect is evident in the concern that Molly voices in her New Republic profile (“she worried that, as a former nude model, she would be deemed unserious and unworthy by full-time activists”) and seems disturbingly relevant when the author of a critique of that article on the San Francisco MoMa blog decided to draw attention to that very fact by implying that her attractiveness is what inspired the reviewer to treat her so seriously. Being a nude model is not a former job like being a bar-tender or temp, it seems– it colors every future image, action and interaction. Why should a reputation for burlesque art or nude modeling be any less serious, less intellectual, less valid than other pursuits? No, really, I’d like someone to explain.

Daul Kim by Beau Grealy for Russh November/December 2009

Critiquing the idea that sexy or even flirty has nothing to do with intelligence, The Lingerie Addict responded to the ‘Letter to Victoria’s Secret’ and hit on one point that I thought was especially important: since when does having cute panties, even with flirty messages, mean that a girl isn’t smart or focused or capable? The letter, a letter that went viral from a dad condemning Victoria’s Secret’s ‘Bright Young Things’ line for high schoolers, reminded me of all the times that it was implied in high school that it was the ‘stupid people’ who were having sex– and how that must have also undermined the confidence of anyone who had sex, whose intelligence was somehow now in question, as if intelligence had anything to do with it.

In all seriousness, I wish I understood why some people get so upset when they can’t file me under either complete idiot or brilliant genius

— Stoya (@stoya) May 6, 2013

On Twitter this week, Stoya asked why people can’t handle it if they don’t see her as an extreme and I became interested in honestly answering this question. I think it’s because there is no place for someone like her in a conception of the world in which a female porn actress is stupid, simple and degraded.  Being interesting and multifaceted, she doesn’t play her part as a bogeyman that scares young women into controlling their sexualities, so she has to be elevated to the height of a genius that no regular person can comprehend or contend with.

Stoya – Pop by Sean + Seng, Spring/Summer 2013

Now, I think Stoya is clever and funny and a brilliant writer– but she is human, and probably sometimes an idiot and sometimes a genius and usually somewhere in between. She’s not a symbol and she can’t be summed up in a one-sentence cliché, which I think scares people. If having sex on film doesn’t define her, what does that say about the rest of us who are supposed to cover ourselves up and avoid talking about sex for fear some nipples forever existing in cyberspace will define us for the rest of our days?

The truth is, if I were to post a picture of myself in a bra and panties (something I haven’t done up until now) it could be a terrible decision. My credibility could be questioned forever by people who would simple have to say that I posed in my underwear to suggest that I was shallow, silly, attention-hungry and sexually available.

Barbara Nichols c. 1957

It’s not that I want, necessarily, to pose for you in my underwear in a daily basis (in fact, I really don’t want that). But I’m tired of having to fear judgement. I’m tired of having to defend lingerie by saying doesn’t have to be sexual without being able to point out that really, there’s nothing wrong with it being sexual either.

If my credibility depends on me keeping my clothes on, that’s ridiculous.

I chose the images in this photo to go along with the theme of ‘undressing.’ Please let me know your thoughts in the comments!

When I first saw the Fleur of England Jasmine set, I was utterly in love. The delicate, sheer tulle and the gorgeous white lace were unlike anything I had seen before, while also seeming simple and classic.

When I shared the images of the set with you, I didn’t think that I would ever get a chance to own it. But, after receiving a bonus at work, I thought I might as well go and try it on at Journelle.

At first I tried the wired balconette bra. I found that it runs small in the cup and cut in slightly at the neck edge in a 34B. The 34C was better, but it didn’t wow me that way I wanted it to.

When I tried the soft boudoir bra, though, everything changed. The shape was simple and beautiful and it really highlighted the lovely materials. I went for a size M, although I could have worn something between an M and an L– I found that the band was quite snug in an M, but there was too much room in the cup in the L.

Serendipitously, right after I tried on the set, Violet’s Knickers ran a contest where the top prize was a Fleur of England soft bra and thong! And through a little bit of luck and a lot of determination, I managed to win it, which made me quite ecstatic! (It’s a rare occurrence).

I ended up buying the briefs as well because of the absolutely beautiful lace patterning at the back– to me the set wouldn’t be complete without it. In my experience, Fleur of England runs quite small, so I found the L knickers to be the best fit (I usually wear a UK12/US8/M).

I should also add that my girlfriend absolutely loves this set– which is unusual, as she tends to have an ambivalent relationship to lingerie in general (while being supportive of my obsession). There is something about the delicacy of the lace and the beauty of the piece in general that makes her an avowed Fleur of England fan.

This set is utterly indulgent and sometimes feels too precious to even wear– but it’s also too pretty to pass up. It’s definitely one of the pieces that I prize most in my possession.

NOE Ryan Bodysuit

You may remember NOE Undergarments (pronounced like ‘joy’) from when I mentioned seeing their designs at the CurveNY tradeshow back in February and I was serendipitously introduced by Francesca of Kitten Kouture. I fell in love with this brand because it was so cool, simple and stylish with an androgynous edge that set it off from many other other brands I’ve seen recently.

The two sisters who started the brand, Bonnie Rae and Shelah Jean, are themselves absolutely wonderful, and every interaction with them has been a pleasure. I love their strong, clear vision and the amazing attention to detail that I observed when I saw a few of their pieces firsthand. I hope these images can give you a clear idea of the beauty and strength of their designs– designs that I think you’re going to be seeing a lot more of in the near future.

I love the blend of lingerie and ready to wear pieces, so that it’s easy to imagine wearing them to bed or to the beach or even to a dinner party. The pieces have an ease to them that I appreciate, and a simple beauty.

The sisters are originally from Kauai, Hawaii (although NOE Undergarments is now based in Laguna Beach, California) and that explains the style of the pieces themselves, with clean lines that seem both tropical and classically American. There is no consciousness of an audience in these photos or in the designs, which is a carefree attitude that I appreciate in the lingerie world. This is clearly not the lingerie you wear for your partner, although it clearly has the kind of sex appeal that springs from undeniable independence.

Their e-commerce site actually launched last week for pre-orders, so make sure to check it out for more images and to order the pieces.

I would love to hear what you think of this brand and whether you find their designs as compelling as I do!

Corsetry is a subject that I am really excited to be learning more about this year, starting with acquiring my first real corset. I love the fascinating mechanics of corsets that create an hourglass figure, as well as as the history of how it created a desirable figure according to the fashion of the time.

Behind the Scenes- Photo by Sean Beach

I am lucky enough to know Angela Friedman, who makes fabulous lingerie and corsetry and was looking for someone to participate in a ‘special corset project’. We managed to figure out an arrangement wherein I paid for my beautiful corset in part by doing my very best posing and agreeing to be on her Etsy page. My modeling could clearly do with some work, but I think we can all agree there is a reason there are professionals who do this.

My beautiful corset is the most expensive piece of lingerie I own, but boy is it beautiful and sturdy and makes me feel stunning. I love the Edwardian shape and the sweet ivory ruffles. I didn’t expect how comfortable it would be, but I wore it all day for a picnic and except for the discomfort caused by eating more cake and biscuits than anyone ought to, it was relatively easy to wear. Of course, your options for how to position yourself are more limited, but you certainly look more picturesque when you do it.

Photo by Sean Beach

I met a little girl in the park who was so taken with my corset that she said I looked like a princess! I thought it was adorable, but it was also interesting that she connected the hourglass shape of the corset with princesses– and an idea worth exploring another time. On a more superficial note, her comment inspired me to go home and take a lot of photos of me being a princess in a tower (waiting for my other princess to come rescue me, of course).

I’m only just a corset beginner, but I am reading Corset: A Cultural History by Valerie Steele (which is fascinating so far) and I do plan to make my own corset this summer! You will get more corset updates soon, just you wait.

Photo by Sean Beach

This is really a photo-heavy post, which I hope you enjoy! I am planning to crystallize my thoughts about corsets in a more coherent post soon— I’ve been thinking a lot about the way corsets have been vilified in combination with the issues with prevalent idea that in the past everyone was so much tinier and a different shape in the past without actually considering how that shape was achieved.

What do you think? Isn’t my new corset lovely?

Overwire Bra and Shorts in Back Satin and Polka Dot Mesh, $127.61

The second I saw this overwire bra from Nearer the Moon, I knew it would be a perfect addiction to a lingerie lover’s knicker drawer. Ever since Dita von Teese came out with overwire bras in her ‘Von Follies’ collection, it seemed like the internet was abuzz with this vintage style and I was so excited to see that Nearer the Moon was the first indie designer I’ve seen give it a try.

Overwire Bra, $87.73

I was lucky enough to meet Tilly, the designer, for tea when she was in NYC and we had a fantastic time chatting all about random lingerie things. I also got to see a sample of this bra and it looked great. It’s clear that she and I are on the same page because she used polka dot mesh (one of my favorites) and bloomer bottoms! And look at the adorable cut out in the knickers:

Overwire Bra and Shorts in Back Satin and Polka Dot Mesh, $127.61

Isn’t it adorably retro? I hope to see some pin-up photos with this set from someone soon, because it would be so cute.

Agent Provocateur, featuring Crystal Renn

Sometimes I hear people wonder why it is that certain lingerie brands, particularly Agent Provocateur and Victoria’s Secret, has achieved such a strong foothold in the American public’s understanding of ‘lingerie.’ And I’m always surprised to hear them ask, because to me the answer is simple: they have the kind of marketing that tells a story.

Lingerie seems to exist in a liminal place, somewhere between fashionable and functional and yet lacking many of the advantages of both categories when it comes to marketing. Fashion has the advantage of being bold and flashy, reveling in the new and the public. Functional items are useful, but innovation in the lingerie world really moves fast enough or in a helful enough direction that its marketing can be driven by ‘updates’ like an iPhone.

Victoria’s Secret

Why can’t lingerie just be like fashion? The answer lies in a simple fact: lingerie is invisible. Of course, outerwear fashion brands spend immense amounts of time and money on their designs, lookbooks, PR and advertisements which all create a solid, branded experience. But nothing will match the moment of seeing a friend or a style icon carrying a certain bag and making you feel in your gut that you would be some much more fashionable, put together and confident carrying that beautiful bag with you. (Replace bag with hat/shoes/necklace/dress as it applies).

With lingerie, that moment of identification is so often missing. We so rarely see other people in their lingerie that we have  no points of reference of what it means to wear lingerie and what it feels like. A woman sweeping down the street in a magnificent red coat is an image of that allows us to connect that coat with that attitude and perhaps imitate it ourselves. The woman in red satin panties is unfamiliar, even disconcerting– which is exactly where fantastic marketing by lingerie brands like Victoria’s Secret comes into play.

Victoria’s Secret

What Victoria’s Secret gives its consumers is not underwear– yes, it may literally be a thong and a poorly fitted push-up bra, but they make it clear it really is about sexy. Victoria’s Secret is not subtle about it; they even have several lines that have ‘sexy’ in the name. But they also have their Angels, models who they use to embody all of the ‘sexiness’ that the average American woman is taught to yearn for. They’re out of reach, but they are real– you know the kind of woman you might turn into in the right panties and it’s not anything you’re going to get at Target or a department store even if they’re using the same padding and stretch lace.

Blair dresses up to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Nate– all does not go well.

If lingerie is rarely seen, it needs other, inner reasons to be important. I adore pretty things, which is part of what I love about lingerie– but the catalyst was Gossip Girl, a seemingly silly show, but one where the ultimate in luxury and self-collectedness came from utterly beautiful underthings. For a moment, those fictional characters were an entree into a world of hidden lacy garter belts and beautiful robes. That’s why the Victoria’s Secret Angels are so effective: they have such a strong presence and story that you associate with the brand. Through the lens of the Angels, lingerie itself takes on a more specific meaning than a glimpse in a changing room, the first bra your mother ever bought you or even the underwear of your lover. Loud and clear, the giant images of Victoria’s Secret Angels tell you exactly who the Victoria’s Secret woman is. And if you want to belong to that perfect, larger than life womanhood, that push-up bra may just be your ticket.

Agent Provocateur

Agent Provocateur works very much in the same line, although the characters are less obvious– the strong identity they give to each of their lingerie sets, as well as choosing a well known model/actresses to be the face of each season makes the relationship between individual and lingerie an easier bridge to cross. Even if Agent Provocateur feels like it has lost its footing a little with its latest ridiculous (and somewhat offensive) videos, it continues to do what it promises: to provoke, to be sexual to be for a woman who knows what she wants.

‘Pretty’ might be enough to make someone buy a skirt, a bracelet, a watch– but it’s not enough for them to buy lingerie without already having an idea of the type of person they will be when they wear it. We need to be convinced of lingerie’s magical powers, of its ability to transform us in whatever way we’d most like to change. Lingerie means something when it connects with the body that’s wearing it– first in their imagination and then on themselves.