Well, as much as the title of this post tries to speak to all introverts, the one I’m going to focus on is the one I know best: me. I will say, in the lingerie world, I have met many people who see themselves as introverts, despite the fact that lingerie has a reputation that would belie this. In popular culture, we often see the stereotype of the bold, and extroverted as the ones who indulge in lingerie– although, of course, the fact that introverts are by nature more private would mean that any habits of extroverted people are naturally more widely broadcast.
In many ways, my interest in lingerie can be seen as a metaphor for the way I interact with people. While others may favor braver outward fashion choices, my outerwear style, while not exactly drab, is not overwhelmingly exciting either.
With my lingerie, however, it’s very different. At this point in my love of lingerie– and as a lingerie blogger–there is almost nothing that I wouldn’t try or wear, no matter how seemingly impractical. In many ways, lingerie is a crucial way that I express the more exciting, frilly and feminine aspects of my personality.
The complaint I hear most often about lingerie is that no one will see it or appreciate it. Now, I can totally understand that– it will never make the entrance of a well cut jacket or a beautiful dress. Lingerie is not a way in which we make a mark when we enter a room or give someone else a first impression. But lingerie is something that I enjoy so much and is such an important part of how I feel special and joyful that it affects the way I interact with people much more than anything they might actually see.
In many ways, this is a perfect match to my introversion. I honestly prefer hanging out in smaller groups of people, as very large gatherings can stress me out. If we go to a club I’ll likely be a spoilsport (sorry!). Spending time at home watching a movie or reading a book or making something is one of my favorite activities– and one that lends itself well to spending a lot of time in loungewear.
I don’t usually open up to people quickly. It can take me a while to get comfortable (although talking about my favorite topic is a surefire way for me to get animated). In many ways, that’s why lingerie is satisfying to me, even though it is so personal and private. I am used to finding inspiration and enjoyment from within myself or an intimate group of friends, rather than being the life of the party or wanting to draw attention to myself.
Although I am not going to literally show off my lingerie to you, get me started talking about it and I’ll talk your ear off. We are all layered– our personalities, our lives. My focus is very much on the under-layer, the intimate layer, the one that usually gets no judgment from outside eyes, but also no praise.
Of course, this is not to say that extroverts don’t enjoy lingerie, too. I’m sure there are some extroverts who read this blog who would love to let me know all the ways in which I have left out their lingerie experiences! (I’d love to hear from you in the comments). I just know that my relationship to myself and my relationship to lingerie are intertwined.
If you met me at a party or at random, you might say,”She’s okay. Nice. Boring. Quiet. A little odd,” just as you might look at my black sweater dress and think, “Perfectly acceptable” or not even notice it at all. Who are you to know about the lacy Myla basque and stockings that I may be wearing underneath, a sign of the more vibrant personality that I haven’t yet been able to feel comfortable enough to share with you.
(No matter how well you know me, I am still NOT going to show you my underwear, by the way)
You guys who read my blog are able to get a peek in, past my usual barriers, both to my personality and my lingerie collection. A blog is plays a strange role, being somewhere between a journal and a soapbox– equivalent to underwear as outerwear perhaps? Just remember: in many ways lingerie is about getting beneath the surface and wearing your personality on the inside, something I can very much relate to.